Batty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 13) Read online

  “Leo, that’s not the point,” I said, sitting back in the chair as I mulled over our options. “Harry is right, and there could come a time when someone else gets hurt. Maybe if we find out who the vampire is then we can offer up an alternative.”

  “It does not surprise me that you would offer your magic to help someone in need,” Harry said with a smile. He even seemed more relaxed after hearing my proposal. “I had truly thought this plight would fall on my children, but I am honored to witness what others in our lineage would refer to as a rebirth.”

  Does the resident werewolf not know the reason that other supernatural beings stay away from vampires? Let’s all say it together. THEY. SUCK. OUR. BLOOD.

  “Not this vampire,” I corrected, remembering the one passage that mentioned the hospital. I leaned forward and tapped the journal. “This vampire only appears to drink blood from the donations at the hospital.”

  An altruistic vampire? No such thing. Raven, I think that it is you who is missing the point. My nemesis has skipped town. He would never have left mid-battle if he wasn’t fearing for his life. And here I was giving the poor sap a hard time. He was just being cautious.

  “I’m confused about something, though.” I’d thought long and hard on this issue, and I wasn’t able to come up with anything that made sense. “Vampires can’t walk in the sunlight, can they?”

  “I read somewhere in one of these precious journals that vampires are only sensitive to light, not necessarily that the rays of the warm sun would be fatal,” Harry corrected as he shuffled back and forth. “Who knows what is possible with the advent of sunblock.”

  He was clearly getting antsy by being away from the front desk for too long.

  So basically, we’re looking for an old geezer who squints a lot. Isn’t that half the old timers in Paramour Bay?

  “We must get back,” Harry murmured, tilting his head as if he’d heard something on the other side of the door. “My intern is wondering where I am, and I don’t want to draw unwanted attention our way.”

  “I can’t thank you enough, Harry.” I stood from the table, glancing around the archaic room once more. I’d love to spend more time in here, but I respected Harry and his family’s privacy. I wouldn’t want just anyone looking through the Marigold grimoires, either. “I’ll get started on our search, and maybe we can convince the vampire that magic can help him stay here without the need for an incident.”

  Tell me again why we get caught up in other supernatural being’s problems? Technically, I don’t see an issue at all. The vampire creates a diversion, leaves town, waits until those who remember him die off, and then starts the process all over again so that he can continue his long but not immortal life. It’s rather genius, if you ask me. We shouldn’t put a hitch in his plans.

  “I will be of help any way that I can,” Harry offered, outwardly pretty pleased with the magical turn of events. “I think the colony of bats appear in town to let the vampire know that his length of time under one such identity has come to an end.”

  “Yeah, but it was only one bat,” I said with a frown as I followed Harry out of the chamber. The bright overhead lights of the library took me a moment to get used to, so I kept my gaze averted while Leo did his invisible trick. “And its wing was hurt. According to Janice, the hairy-legged vampire bat might never go back into its natural living environment.”

  I feel a case of the hiccups coming on.

  “I will continue to look through the journals of my other descendants to see if I can find a time when there was only one,” Harry said quietly, waving toward the intern who was carrying a mound of books our way. It was lucky that he could even see where he was walking. “I must return to my duties. Good luck, Miss Raven.”

  I bet my mid-afternoon premium organic catnip edibles can help me get rid of these hiccups.

  Leo and I made our way to the exit, but then I thought of something that could potentially figure out the identity of the visiting vampire.

  “Harry?” I whispered to catch his attention before he could walk away. “Would you do me a favor and collect the names of the male victims from each…well, disaster?”

  Explosions and such definitely fell into the disaster category.

  For the love of all catnip, do you have blinders on? Are you really not seeing all the warning signs popping up right in front of us? We need to take a page out of Skippy’s operational plan and hightail it out of town.

  “We can’t do that, Leo.”

  I opened the door and breathed in the fresh air that would only be getting cooler the closer we got to the fall season. My one hope was that we were able to stop whatever disaster was planned for this century, because that meant someone who we most likely cared about would disappear forever.

  Hold the garlic on that catnip. Are you saying that we’ve been palling around with a vampire this entire time? Oh, the betrayal!

  “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.” I ran the list over in my head with a heavy heart. “It could be Monty, Eugene or Albert. The list is long, and we still need to find the hairy-legged vampire bat.”

  Leo materialized in the passenger seat of my old Corolla. By the time I was settled behind the wheel, he was cleaning his paw as if we didn’t have a care in the world…or a vampire and his hairy-legged friend to find.

  Oh, I’ve already solved the identity of the vampire. I’ve done my part, so you can just drop me off at the teashop for the morning nap that I missed. Beetle brought me some blueberry catnip edibles with real crushed blueberries. I’ll add my missed morning nap to my afternoon nap.

  “You figured out who the vampire is?” I asked excitedly, turning in my seat to hear how Leo had come up with the name of the vampire in a span of what had to be sixty seconds. “Leo, that’s fantastic!”

  It’s obvious, isn’t it? Mr. Jenkins.

  I released a groan of frustration when I realized that Leo had chosen the one man who had basically had it in for him. I swear that I ended up paying for the damage done to Mr. Jenkins’ petunias every year that Leo tore through them in the name of the squirrelpocalypse.

  “Leo, we don’t know that,” I uttered in exasperation. My hopes had been dashed as fast as Skippy had left town. I did have to wonder if his disappearance had anything to do with our current mysteries. One thing at a time, though. “Let’s go meet up with Eileen and see if she can tell us anything about these disasters and missing bodies. Afterward, we can start making a list of all the elderly males who we believe could be our visiting vampire.”

  You’re in denial, Raven. Have you ever seen Mr. Jenkins smile? No? I didn’t think so. Me, either. The proof is in the eternal frown.

  Chapter Four

  “Don’t you find it odd that Mom hasn’t texted back?” I asked with concern as we crossed the cobblestone intersection on our way to the police station. It wasn’t like her not to respond to one of my SOS texts. “Maybe she just decided to drive home.”

  Everything that the Mistress of the Dark does is odd in my opinion. You know, I’ve got to hand it to my BFF. Those blueberry-filled edibles were delicious.

  Leo and I had stopped in at the teashop to check in on Beetle, which inevitably led to mid-morning treats. Beetle had managed to sell half the sale items, and it wasn’t even noon. When I expressed our desire to help find Count Cuddles, he assured me that he had the sale event covered and that it was important to help with the search.

  I hadn’t dawdled, and we immediately took Beetle up on his offer.

  After all, wasn’t that why I’d hired him in the first place?

  Technically, my BFF hired himself. He must have realized my need.

  Leo’s gasp had me tripping over my sandals, this time knowing full well that I’d done it to myself. Leo was accompanying me across the street in his visible form. I still believed Leo had tripped me this morning, but there was no way for me to prove he’d displayed such childish behavior.

  Childish? I’ll have you know that I just crossed off at leas
t ninety-nine percent of Paramour Bay’s population as the visiting vampire. I credit the restorative value of the blueberry edibles, in case you were wondering.

  “And how did you go about crossing off ninety-nine percent of the men who live here?” I asked wryly, waiting for Leo to say once more that Mr. Jenkins was our target.

  I might have jumped to conclusions earlier with Mr. Jenkins. He couldn’t possibly be the one we’re looking for, Raven. Get with the program.

  “Leo, spit it out,” I warned, stepping up on the curb. I was surprised to find that Eugene and Albert weren’t playing chess in their usual spot outside of Monty’s hardware store. The elderly men had retired many years ago and passed much of their time with one another enjoying a game they both loved. “You know that you’re bad at math.”

  Your confidence in my ability to calculate numbers after consuming my edibles astounds me. I’m offended. And aren’t you the one who said you failed calculus in high school?

  We passed the hardware store and finally came to a stop outside of the police station. Eileen was used to Leo accompanying me places around town, so she wouldn’t question his presence. I wasn’t going inside until I had an answer to this mathematic equation that just didn’t add up.

  “How did you reach ninety-nine percent, Leo?”

  Simple. Most of the male residents were born and raised right here in Paramour Bay. We can eliminate each and every one with a valid local birth certificate, because it’s not like the visiting vampire is being born every eighty years or so. I swear, those mental antioxidants contained in the blueberry edibles increased my IQ by at least twenty. They could charge double.

  I burst out laughing, even though I was going to have to admit that Leo was right for once. We could eliminate ninety-nine percent of the male population residing in Paramour Bay. Why something so logical hadn’t crossed my mind told me that I was diving headfirst into these mysteries without really thinking things through…and that could have us landing in a vat of hot water.

  “Leo, there’s no such thing as mental antioxidants,” I said before ducking when the neighborhood chickadee flew past rather low in what I assumed was his quest for lunch. Mr. C didn’t seem very happy today. “But I do admit that you have a point. And you narrowed down a lot of the names that we’d have to go through in order to find the identity of the vampire. Very well done, Leo.”

  Well, my work here is done.

  “Wait a second,” I called out after Leo began to walk down the sidewalk from the same direction that we’d just come from. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I’m going to pay a visit to my soulmate. I’m not much for cuddling, but I’ll suck it up if it makes her feel better.

  A goofy grin graced my lips. Leo came across as impatient, sarcastic, and aloof at times, but he was really just a big ol’ softy.

  Sparing a glance over at the pet shop, I saw Eugene and Albert coming out of the entrance with a small carrier in hand. Janice must be handing out carriers to those who were helping with the search. I really should be joining them, but I needed to have a quick chat with Eileen first.

  With the small shopping bag in my hand that contained one of Eileen’s favorite tea flavors, I entered the police station. She sat behind her desk with a sweater the color of burnt orange with a large oak tree sewn into the material. There were small blinking lights that outlined leaves that appeared to be floating down from the branches.

  Eileen caught me staring with my head tilted and attempting to figure out what holiday the sweater represented when she mouthed two words. I couldn’t make out what she was trying to say, because she was on the phone. I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation, so I made my way past her desk toward Liam’s office.

  He wasn’t at his desk.

  “I’ll send Liam over there as soon as he’s done checking Wilma’s garage,” Eileen said as she rubbed her forehead. “Yes, yes. I’ll make sure that he knows not to get the rescue bat mixed up with your parrot.”

  The lights on her sweater must have distracted me from the red blinking lights on the phone. Her incoming calls were all lined up, and I realized that the neighborhood was all on watch for Count Cuddles.

  “Liam is out checking all the tips regarding this bat that got loose from the pet shop,” Eileen relayed to me with the phone tucked against her shoulder. “It’s a good thing he brought me a bear claw from the bakery. I’m not sure I’ll be leaving my desk until this thing is found. A bat. Who rescues a bat?”

  Eileen didn’t suppress the shudder that went through her body, but it was short lived when she pointed to her sweater. She loved to talk about her sewing creations.

  “Autumn Equinox,” Eileen said proudly. “Don’t you just love this time of year?”

  “Yes, I certainly do,” I replied, accepting that she wasn’t going to have time for a chat. I hid my disappointment by setting the bag of tea that I’d brought onto the edge of her desk. “A little gift for a quick question.”

  Eileen looked down at the row of red lights, but the delicious bribe got her in the end.

  “Shoot. What do you need to know?”

  “Is there a single, elderly man who resides in Paramour Bay who wasn’t born here?”

  Eileen blinked a few times, leaving me to realize that I sounded like I was on the hunt for a new man. A flush no doubt appeared on my cheeks as I scrambled to explain such an odd question.

  “I mean, I think that is who owns the bat.”

  The white lie was the only thing that I could come up with that sounded plausible, though it still garnered a few more blinks from Eileen.

  I tried to make a connection.

  “I was thinking that maybe he brought the injured bat from another state. It might have been a pet, and we wouldn’t really know he had it, right?”

  Where was Heidi when I needed her?

  She was the one who could spin a story like no one else, with the exception of last night’s fiasco. I was beginning to realize just how messed up our lives had become by this vampiric threat that loomed over the town.

  “I’m not making sense, I know,” I said with a lopsided smile. “Trust me, though. Oh, and I brought you tea.”

  Eileen was staring at me now as if I should be thrown in the drunk tank.

  “Samson Aker.” She snatched up the bag of tea, as if I would change my mind about the bribe. “Charlie Buttons, and Lyle Jenkins. I don’t believe they owned any bats, though.”

  “Thank you, Eileen!” I wiggled my fingers and quickly took my leave before she could ask me to clarify my reasoning. I had absolutely none, and I certainly didn’t want to end up in the drunk tank until Liam got back to the station. “I’ll let you know if I find Count Cuddles.”

  I cringed at the name, wondering why Janice had chosen to call the hairy-legged vampire bat such an endearing name when bats were anything but cuddly.

  Then again, I’d never really seen a bat up close.

  For all I knew, they liked to be held and scratched underneath their chin.

  When I walked outside, I didn’t expect Mr. C to come back from lunch so soon. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and managed to duck just in time to avoid losing my left eye. Something had clearly upset him, and I quickly figured out the reason.

  Get it off! Get it off!

  Leo was galloping toward me with panic in his wide green eyes, his mouth wide open as he screamed for help. As he scrambled past me as fast as his four munchkin legs could carry him, I finally saw the reason for his terrifying alarm.

  Ahhhhhhhh!

  The hairy-legged vampire bat that the entire town was looking for clung to the back of Leo like his life depended on it. His tiny back legs were flopping up and down each time that Leo’s paws hit the pavement of the sidewalk.

  I took off after them, but Leo had chosen to turn at the corner of the bakery. Running wasn’t in my genetic makeup, let alone when I wore sandals. By the time I was able to round the corner, there was no sign of either Leo or Count C
uddles.

  “Was that Leo?”

  I held up a hand with one finger pointed in the air to let Rye Dolgiram know that I needed a minute to catch my breath. Resting my hands on my knees, I sucked in oxygen like the required resource it was as I attempted to regain some semblance of balance.

  “Do I even want to know what’s going on right now?” Rye asked skeptically, as well he should. He was a very gifted warlock with a checkered past that had landed him smack dab in the middle of my estranged family. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

  “Wait,” I called out, finally able to manage a word. After taking a few more deep breaths and bringing my heart rate down to a normal rhythm, I got down to business. “You might be able to help.”

  Rye was one of those wizards who liked to keep to himself, but he always had one ear to the ground. He had probably needed to be that way due to my Aunt Rowena.

  Technically, she was my great aunt and had never left the coven.

  My Nan might have been excommunicated, but she and Aunt Rowena had never really gotten along before being shunned.

  Somehow, someway, Aunt Rowena had taken Rye in during his teen years. It was too long of a story to get into right now. Suffice it to say, the council of the coven had wanted answers regarding Rye’s ancestors. She’d sent him to Paramour Bay so that the council members held little to no sway over him.

  I guess that was pretty smart on her part.

  Anyway, Rye sometimes had information on any supernatural beings who might be hanging around town. He was surprisingly a wealth of information, though I still didn’t trust him any farther than I could throw an energy ball.

  “What do you know about the visiting vampire?”

  “The what?”

  “The visiting vampire.” I was now able to stand upright without that sharp pain in my side from running, though having my hands on my hips did seem to help. “We think that the hairy-legged vampire bat has come to tell his boss that it’s time to disappear once more.”