Batty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 13) Read online

  Leo’s cackling laugh echoed throughout the teashop.

  “I don’t understand what the fascination is over this vampire,” Liam said, attempting to put things into perspective. I gave him credit for being so understanding when it came to a blood-sucking scoundrel visiting his town. “Harry told you about the vampire, but you even admitted that it didn’t sound as if this supernatural being caused any trouble. Right? So, maybe we should leave well enough alone. You know, let sleeping vampires lay.”

  The only one who would say that is the vampire himself. Is the good ol’ sheriff not telling us something? I might be sleep deprived, but nothing gets past me.

  “Really, Leo?” I glanced over at the display window to see that he had all four paws up with his eyes closed. I couldn’t help but teach him a lesson. “Skippy managed to scurry past the teashop without you noticing just now.”

  Leo wasn’t the fastest feline in Paramour Bay, but I had to admit that he managed to scramble to all four paws in under a half second. He had his nose smooshed against the glass for the second time today.

  It didn’t take him long to realize that he’d been duped.

  You’re getting meaner in your old age, Raven. Touché. Touché.

  “Liam, have you ever heard of a hairy-legged vampire bat being put up for adoption like a puppy?” I asked, still trying to connect the dots. Leo had flopped down on his haunches with a huff, but at least he wasn’t attempting to go back to sleep. “You don’t find it odd that it’s a vampire bat? Especially after we find out that one might be roaming around Paramour Bay?”

  It’s a well-known fact that sane people stay away from anything roaming the streets past midnight. We should try it, Raven. The sane part, not the roaming part.

  “Visiting, not roaming,” Liam corrected with a disbelieving shake of his head. Leo almost fell out of his bed in another round of laughter. “When you told Beetle that you were wanting to search for the bat, you weren’t making that up to go talk to Eileen, were you? You’re actually going to try and find…I can’t bring myself to say his name.”

  “Count Cuddles,” I supplied with a smile, catching sight of Elsie and Wilma walking out of the diner. It seemed that the two elderly ladies survived on apple pie, tea, and gossip…not necessarily in that order. “And what I’m saying is that we have two mysteries to solve.”

  Leo practically choked on that cackling laugh of his when he comprehended my statement.

  I didn’t feel sorry for him in the least.

  He wasn’t taking this vampire thing seriously. He had been too elated last night over the fact that his so-called soulmate had finally crashed and burned with Jack Swanson.

  I did not just hear you say the M word.

  “You heard the plural version of that word, Leo,” I told him, lifting up on my tiptoes to kiss Liam’s cheek. I then whispered to him, “Go buy Eileen a bear claw from the bakery. That way she can enjoy a morning treat with her tea.”

  Liam sighed in resignation when he realized that there was no talking me out of searching for Count Cuddles, who I believed would inevitably lead us to the visiting vampire. I wasn’t sure what the connection was, but the palm of my hand was definitely trying to tell me something.

  I needed to start trusting my instincts again.

  Your instincts could lead us directly to body bags. I happen to like my blood right where it is…in my body.

  “It’s never a good thing to go looking for trouble, Raven. I’d like to go on record that we should leave well enough alone.”

  I second that. I swear, the good ol’ sheriff is doing his best to get on my good side today.

  “We can’t leave alone the fact that we know a vampire comes to town every once in a while,” I pointed out, not seeing how these two could just ignore something like that. The news of such a supernatural visitor even had my mother on edge. “What does he want here in Paramour Bay?”

  “What makes you think the vampire is a he?” Liam asked, glancing over his shoulder to see that Elsie and Wilma were a few feet from the entrance to the teashop. “The vampire could very well be of the female variety, right?”

  Liam’s suggestion had caught me off guard, and I realized that maybe I’d been looking at this entire situation all wrong. I had maybe thirty seconds before Elsie and Wilma opened the door in order to confirm my suspicions. “Leo, how did you take it when Harry said that we had a vampire who visits town every once in a while?”

  Now you’re asking me for my opinion? Well, if you want to go there…I think the squirrelpocalypse is closer than anyone realizes, this bed isn’t as soft as it used to be, and I believe that our veterinarian in town is a quack. I saw what he charged for my teeth cleaning, and it was absolutely highway robbery.

  “Leo, that’s not what I mean,” I replied in exasperation. “I think we might have taken the visiting part of Harry’s sentence the wrong way. We have no idea how long vampires live, so what if Harry meant longer than a day trip? What if the visiting part actually meant years?”

  Leo’s left eye ticked in time with his crooked whiskers, telling me that he finally understood the severity of our situation.

  “I don’t like where you’re going with this, Raven,” Liam muttered as the bell chimed above the door. “You’re suggesting…”

  “I’m saying that the vampire might actually live in Paramour Bay.”

  I think Skippy had the right idea, Raven. He somehow figured out that you want to flush out a vampire, and my nemesis got out of dodge for a late summer vacation. You don’t happen to know if any paid personal time came with that necromancy spell, do you?

  Chapter Three

  “Harry,” I called out in what no one would call a whisper. At least, according to the glares that I was receiving from the few people studying in the library. “Harry!”

  I know that we’re not technically part of the coven, but do you think they have an HR department? Maybe someone who handles the administration paperwork parttime? I bet they have rules and regulations regarding paid personal time.

  “You’re a familiar, Leo,” I muttered as I continued to walk through the library, scanning each aisle that we passed in search of Harry. “This is your life, not a job with employment benefits.”

  I disagree. I’m relatively sure that I’m on my ninth life, and that deserves recognition…as well as paid leave.

  “Harry,” I called out, louder this time and not caring that I got shushed by several individuals.

  You realize that you’re putting the good ol’ sheriff in a rather compromising position, right? Someone is going to call him, and you’re going to get arrested for disturbing the peace. Do you think that he’ll put you in handcuffs?

  “It might be a murder charge if you keep talking.”

  I wasn’t quite sure if I had stumbled or Leo had purposefully tripped me, but I somehow managed to get ahold of my footing before falling flat on my face.

  I fully admitted to being accident prone.

  You’ll never know if it was me or your own inability to walk ten feet in a row without stumbling.

  “Good morning, Miss Raven. Mr. Leo.” Harry appeared out of nowhere, bringing me up short. Leo was currently in his invisible state, but a werewolf could smell a feline familiar from miles away. “What can I do for the two of you today?”

  Did you hear that, Raven? Even a werewolf knows how to properly address a reasonably mature familiar. Ask if he’s hiring. Oh, and don’t forget to inquire about the benefits’ package.

  Harry’s long brown hair was way below his waist, and I made a mental note to ask him what kind of shampoo he used in order to get the shine that he seemed to perpetually have in the lengthy strands.

  Right now, I needed different information.

  “Harry, we need to talk about the vampire who visits our small town,” I said in a hushed tone so that no one inadvertently overheard us talking about something that only existed in folklore. “If you know that he or she visits the area, then you should know his
or her identity.”

  “I do not possess that information, Miss Raven.” Harry began to amble toward the front of the library, leaving me and Leo no choice but to follow. His hair flowed gracefully behind him in a perfect wave. Thankfully, he waited until we were back at the front desk to supply me a reason as to why he didn’t know the identity of our visiting vampire. “Other supernatural beings have a distinct odor. Liches are the worst, though. They smell of rotting corpses and spiced old magic.”

  Harry didn’t bother to suppress a shudder of revulsion at the immortal being. Which reminded me…

  “Are vampires actually immortal?” I asked, leaning my elbows on the tall counter so that I could use my arm to block my voice from carrying through the quiet library. “Leo’s memory on the ecology of nocturnal bloodsuckers has been a bit hazy of late, and I can’t find much in Nan’s notes. Mom said the topic of vampires never came up during her time in training, either.”

  It shouldn’t be a thing now. I told you, I’m partial to keeping all of my blood inside my roguishly GQ body.

  Harry’s rumbling laugh at my question somehow remained quiet enough not to attract attention our way. His shoulders even shook as he tried to contain himself, but a snort still got through here and there.

  “I don’t see what is so funny, Harry,” I reprimanded him with a frown. “Heidi might have lost out on a good relationship for no reason at all, and now we have a hairy-legged vampire bat missing from the pet store. I think it might be related in some odd way. I mean, the bat to the vampire. Not the bat to Heidi’s relationship.”

  The mere mention of the hairy-legged rescue bat was enough to have Harry straightening his shoulders and focusing his complete attention on me. He leaned forward, studying my expression.

  My palm began to tingle.

  No, it isn’t.

  “Yes, it is,” I countered, relaying to Harry the exchange. “Why is my palm gathering energy, Harry?”

  “Come with me,” Harry instructed with a seriousness that almost made me forget that he had been laughing a moment ago.

  I don’t think we should go with him, Raven. It’s getting close to lunchtime, and it’s debatable which of us has the bigger rump roast.

  “Harry, where are we going?” I asked, attempting to keep up with him. He moved pretty fast on two legs. “The bat does have something to do with the vampire, doesn’t it?”

  “You need to read something,” Harry said as he came up to a door near the back of the library. He glanced behind us in a suspicious manner, causing me to do the same. No one seemed to even be in our line of sight. He fished out what looked like a skeleton key from his shirt pocket, using it to unlock the door. “In here. Quickly!”

  If we’re being lured to our death, I’ll haunt you in the afterlife. I’ve got an obligation to stop the squirrelpocalypse. It’s a sworn oath! I have to stay here and oversee the outcome of the war.

  “Harry, what is this place?”

  I was referring to what appeared to be a darkened chamber, of sorts.

  Torches were strategically placed around the room to give off light, while ancient books lined the old wooden shelves as if begging to be read on the oak table positioned smack dab in the middle of the room. I caught the faintest scent of an earthen storm cedar long left to the elements.

  I half expected to trip over a root in the flickering darkness.

  Did we pass through some portal when I wasn’t looking? This looks positively medieval.

  Leo materialized once the door had been shut behind us, and I completely understood why he would ask such a question. Being in this chamber was like being taken back through time to the 13th century.

  There was even a wrought iron chandelier with old style yellowish tallow candles secured to the ceiling, allowing the table to have additional illumination to read through the numerous leather-bound journals and grimoires that lay about surface.

  “These historical journals were all gathered by my ancestors,” Harry revealed cautiously, staying by the door as I brushed my fingertips over the leather coverings. I realized that he wasn’t that comfortable sharing with me such a private domain. “Each supernatural being that my descendants have encountered are documented in these ledgers. If a hairy-legged vampire bat has made its way to Paramour Bay, that could be an ominous sign for us all.”

  Ominous? Leo asked warily from his position on top of the old oak table. Did the resident werewolf just say ominous?

  “Here,” Harry murmured, finally leaving his post near the door to walk across to the other side of the room. He scanned the journals until he came upon one that he was looking for in particular. “Each generation in my family wrote about a light copper odor that would hover over the town for decades. It would then simply disappear…until another generation took the place of the one before.”

  Leo’s whiskers twitched back and forth as he lifted his nose to get a better whiff of the air around us. I held my breath as I waited for his verdict.

  I got nothin’, Raven.

  A werewolf’s ability to pick up on faint scents was hands over fists more enhanced than that of an average feline…including mature familiars.

  “Here it is,” Harry exclaimed in victory, producing a sturdy yet delicate-looking journal. It was rather large with a pawprint branded into the soft leather on the front cover. “My great-great-great grandfather wrote about it first.”

  Harry carefully set the book on the table and gently opened it to the middle, before turning a few pages until he pointed to a specific passage. I leaned down to read the entry by the candlelight from above.

  September 30th —I was in town today when I got a whiff of something…more like someone. I’ve never encountered a vampire before, but it is the only supernatural being that I can think of that would smell like the copper smell associated with blood. I will investigate further.

  Oy vey, Leo grumbled. The old hound sounds just like you, unable to leave well enough alone. Are you part werewolf, Raven?

  “May I?” I asked Harry, motioning that I’d like to read more of the journal. Upon his quick nod, I walked around the table and brought the journal with me. “These are fascinating, Harry.”

  “They really shouldn’t be read by outsiders, but I know what happens when one witnesses the arrival of the hairy-legged vampire bat. We must prepare ourselves.”

  I’ve got to admit that the resident werewolf is freaking me out a bit, Raven. I know I have some memory issues, but I don’t recall anything about a flying rodent bringing about the squirrelpocalypse.

  October 4th —There are reports of plasma missing from the hospital. I have attempted to keep track of the wildlife in the area, but it is not so easy when my mere presence scares the creatures away. I walked through town, but I could not pinpoint the source of the copper fragrance. I fear that I will never know the identity of this vampiric entity for certain.

  I had read the passage aloud, noticing that Leo had scooted closer to me with each sentence. Harry was wringing his hands together and making me nervous, so I quickly flipped the page to the next passage.

  October 12th —The residents in town are up in arms over a colony of bats that have descended and taken up residency in the church. They sleep their days away in the bell tower. I assume they are here due to the vampire, but I cannot confirm my suspicions as of yet.

  “Keep going,” Harry encouraged, almost as if he was rushing me.

  Or don’t keep going, Leo argued. That’s an option, too. Just in case you forgot.

  October 15th —There was an explosion down at the pier today, across the town line. Almost every resident went to see if they could lend a hand, myself included. I daresay I did try to search for the vampire amongst all the townsfolk, but I came up empty. Unfortunately, there was one casualty. His body wasn’t recovered, poor soul. No one knows exactly what happened, but I will keep my ear to the ground.

  “The next entry is what you’ll find the most interesting,” Harry said, nodding toward the journ
al in front of me.

  You’d think someone would notice the librarian missing from out front. Shall we go find out?

  I ignored Leo’s plea to stop while we were ahead. History tended to repeat itself, so it was better for us to be prepared for what might lie ahead of us in the near future.

  October 17th —I walked into town today and immediately noticed something amiss. There was no copper scent hanging in the air, and all the bats were gone from the belfry. It didn’t take me long to make the correlation. I fear that the explosion on the pier was a distraction for the vampire and his colony of bats to disappear into the twilight of the recent sunset.

  “There are several generations who document the similar occurrences.” Harry motioned with a hand toward the left side wall of journals that I would love to read when I had more time. I’m not so sure that I’d ever be invited back into this chamber, though. It was clearly meant for family. Harry was simply trying to help me from preventing a repeat of the past. “I fear one of these times someone innocent might get hurt.”

  Ohhhh, that Skippy is a smart one.

  “Why didn’t you tell me this the last time that we talked, Harry?” I asked with curiosity, unable to come up with a good excuse as to why he’d leave out something so important.

  “Well, the vampire who visits here for decades at a time clearly means the residents no harm,” Harry said with a frown, as if I should have known such a thing. “We know the supernatural being is most likely male, because it’s always been a man who ends up presumed dead in whatever catastrophe befalls the town every century. I have smelled the copper scent since I was a little boy, but vampires do tend to live much longer than humans. I truly thought my time would come to an end well before his.”

  How about we all agree that no end is in sight and go about our daily lives? Is it just me or does no one get that the bloodsucking leech calls Paramour Bay home, pretends to die a horrific death, and then returns once everyone else dies off? That’s pretty ingenious, if you ask me. We should let him go in peace, Raven. It’s the right thing to do. You know…tradition and all.