Batty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 13) Page 11

  I hate to break this to you, Raven. Anything that drinks blood to survive is not our friend. No wonder Satan’s mini-feathered dragon was flying erratically through town. He must have been trying to warn me. We might be archrivals, but we share a mutual respect for one another’s status as a combatant under the Geneva Convention.

  “I didn’t realize that…um, Count Cuddles had such a restricted diet,” I murmured in revulsion, taking the small cage with the adorable tiny bird tweeting his or her annoyance at being cooped up. “It’s okay, little one. Don’t you worry none.”

  I’m pretty sure this wasn’t a bird that someone would keep as a pet, but at least it wasn’t Mr. C. I wasn’t even going to ask how Janice had gotten ahold of this cute thing, but I was definitely going to release him the second that Janice left this shop.

  “There is a food chain,” Janice said with a very disturbing upbeat tone. “I appreciate you taking care of Count Cuddles for a few days until we can find a more permanent solution if his wing doesn’t heal properly.”

  The experts say that we cross paths with seven serial killers throughout our lives. It looks like we’ve just met our first, and I’m going on the record by saying that’s enough meet and greets for me. Show the resident serial killer the door so that I can get back to my pity-party.

  “You have my cell phone if you need anything, and I’ll bring more nourishment for Count Cuddles to you tomorrow morning.” Janice wiggled her fingers as if such an offer was an everyday occurrence. “Have a nice evening!”

  Leo feigned gagging, though it sounded more like a hairball.

  I couldn’t blame him, because my stomach rolled in revulsion until I came up with a plan.

  Right when I just told myself that this day couldn’t possibly get worse…

  “My plan involves saving this little guy, creating a tea blend that Count Cuddles can survive on without resorting to leaving mummified birds all over town, and then finding out who he actually came to see here in town,” I said with determination. “This is just a small delay in our locating the vampire, but hopefully Heidi will be done with her dinner by the time we are finished. With Mom still MIA, we’re going to need all the help that we can get.”

  As if the supernatural forces were granting my request, the bell chimed above the entrance once more.

  I figured out what has been perplexing me, Raven. It isn’t pretty. It’s not you that hates me…it’s karma. Go ahead and make the sacrifice. Just exchange me for that poor sap in the cage. Get it over with.

  “Get what over with?” Rye asked, coming to an abrupt halt when he saw what was in my hand. “I don’t want to know, do I?”

  “Did you see Janice outside?” I asked, passing him with the bird cage.

  “She just drove off, but—”

  I cut off whatever Rye was going to say by stepping outside and opening the small door to the cage. The bird didn’t waste any time as he made his escape, tweeting in irritation the whole way.

  I didn’t blame him in the least.

  Breathing in the fresh coastal air, I took a moment to collect my thoughts. I held the bird cage with two hands while I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. Maybe there was a chance that things really weren’t in such disarray. There were times when one could separate themselves from a situation and see that things really weren’t so bad.

  I waited for that inspiration to hit.

  It didn’t.

  I let out a moan, not caring that my frustration carried over the light breeze to where Eugene and Albert were packing up their chess board. They’d glanced my way, causing me to wave a slight hand in greeting. It wouldn’t do to have them coming into the shop at closing time while I had a rather complicated spell to locate in the family grimoire.

  “Okay,” I exclaimed with determination after reentering the teashop. “Rye, I’m going to need your help. Do you know of any incantation that can supply nutrients to a hairy-legged vampire bat so that he doesn’t need to—”

  Both Rye and Leo were nowhere in sight.

  The teashop was basically empty, and it appeared that I was talking to thin air.

  Seeing as they hadn’t left through the main door, there was only one place they could be. I wasn’t sure how Rye had talked Leo into going into the back room, but there was only one way to find out. I quickly set the small cage on top of the now empty table that I’d used for the sale today before making a beeline to the back.

  What on earth could they be up to when we had multiple fires to put out?

  I’d only made it halfway across the teashop before the old white and black clock caught my eye. There were five minutes left until closing. Knowing that there was only a one percent chance that a customer would come waltzing through the entrance this late in the day, I hastily made my way back to the door.

  I was mid-flip when I saw something that had me second-guessing those blueberries that had been in the granola bar. I’d only snuck one bite from Heidi’s half of the bar.

  Leo swore by their mental antioxidants, though.

  Even though I knew there was no such thing, though I did believe they had healthy antioxidants for the immune system, there was no way that I’d just witnessed my mother driving by the teashop without even glancing in my direction.

  As a matter of fact, she appeared to be on some sort of mission.

  It was too late to step outside and flag her down, but at least I knew that she would be at Beetle’s house. I couldn’t wait to lecture her about going off the grid like she had, even if it had been for me in some twisted way, I couldn’t let on that I knew what she’d been doing, but that just gave me the ability to really lay into her.

  It wasn’t that I was trying to be mean.

  Quite the contrary.

  She’d had me worried sick.

  I locked the door and made sure the sign was turned properly before retracing my steps across the teashop’s tiled floor. To my surprise, Leo and Rye were deep in conversation as if they were long lost friends—which was a complete contrast to their usual discourse.

  “Do I even want to know what the two of you are doing back here?” I asked warily, scanning the numerous components that Rye had laid out on the table. The fact that a mortar and pestle was front and center had a bad feeling settling over me, despite the fact that my hand remained cool. “No. Don’t tell me.”

  Leo just swooshed his bent tail as if he possessed knowledge that would help our situation.

  He was baiting me.

  Our standoff didn’t last long.

  “Fine,” I declared, throwing my hands up in defeat. “You win. Tell me. Wait. I changed my mind again. Only tell me if this doesn’t have anything to do with Aunt Rowena.”

  I love winning. I can’t wait to have that zing of satisfaction when I bring an end to the squirrelpocalypse. I even plan to break out my aged raspberry premium organic catnip from the 1960s. There’s some special herb right there, Raven. Very special.

  I couldn’t even think about celebrating anything at the moment. I was too busy having horrible visions of the entire coven marching into Paramour Bay with the intention of ousting the vampire.

  Aunt Rowena would no doubt be leading the charge.

  I shuddered just thinking of the havoc that she could wreak upon all the residents.

  It might rival the squirrelpocalypse. Might. I’ll have to ponder on that for a while.

  “I’m actually trying to help you out with your new hairy-legged bat friend,” Rye said before flashing me a smile. “Believe it or not, I know of a sustenance spell that turns tea into a life-sustaining beverage for such a mammal.”

  I wisely stayed silent as I motioned for Rye to continue creating his concoction. I was leaning toward the not believing side of his option. Even so, I’d still take the brew with me when I drove to Beetle’s residence. I’d be able to check off two boxes by making such a visit—feeding Count Cuddles and then finding out where my mother had been all day when she was supposed to have returned to town fir
st thing this morning.

  I ride shotgun, then. My BFF no doubt has more of those blueberry catnip edibles at his house somewhere. I think I’m running low on mental antioxidants. That would explain why I’m sitting here talking to this card shark as if we were best pals or something.

  I ignored Leo as I continued to think about what Beetle had said about Mom. I wasn’t sure that I bought the entire matron of honor gift thing.

  As a matter of fact, I was still uncertain about the life-sustaining tea blend that was literally being created right in front of me as I thought through the unlikely process.

  Let’s face it—tea was my forte.

  One would assume that I’d read about such a phenomenon.

  I had not.

  One would also assume that you might be losing a marble or two the way your thoughts are scrambling around like a frozen pea bouncing around inside a boxcar. But who am I to judge? I’m still sitting here with this cheater.

  “You two are exhausting,” Rye muttered with exasperation, still blending the components of the spell together. I tilted my head as I thought over what Leo had been saying about Rye. Leo had a point. Our resident warlock wasn’t usually this hands-on type unless it involved the coven. “I’m almost done and then you can take this to feed the little guy. I’ll write the recipe down on a sheet of paper, and then you can add it to your family grimoire.”

  “You told Aunt Rowena about our vampire infestation, didn’t you?” I asked accusingly, already knowing his answer by the way that his movements stilled in blending together the ingredients. “Rye, you said that you wouldn’t say a word to her about it.”

  I knew that he was being too nice for the sake of being a poker buddy. Shame on you, cheater!

  “I didn’t say anything to Rowena about a vampiric threat to Paramour Bay,” Rye stated defensively, holding up a hand to stop my interrogation.

  He ceased talking to me so that he could garner energy for the spell. It never ceased to amaze me to observe the effects of magic on the ingredients utilized in creating such an incantation. Every single component began to circle above the mortar in a graceful dance until they all fell back down into the copper basin.

  “I called Rowena and told her that Agnus had…well, created Justine,” Rye said, taking the mortar and holding it over one of the paper bags that I usually used to package loose tea leaves from my own magical blends. “You know that Rowena won’t go against a village druid of unknown power. Even she knows her own limitations.”

  You’re leaving something out, cheater.

  “Leo’s right,” I said warily as I waited for the other shoe to drop. “Is this about Justine? I haven’t had time to reach out to Agnus today to see if there are any strings attached to Justine being Ted’s companion.”

  Rye sighed in resignation as he handed me the small shopping bag with the enchanted tea blend that would hopefully be the saving grace for all feathered flying creatures in and around Paramour Bay.

  “It could be nothing.”

  Sweet angel of mercy, that could only mean the opposite. It’s the squirrelpocalypse, isn’t it? It’s started, and all because the old biddy at the inn gave Skippy and his minions genetically altered ears of corn!

  “Leo, you’re safe from the squirrelpocalypse for now,” Rye countered, rubbing the back of his neck in apprehension. By this time, there was no mistaking the fact that the palm of my hand was tingling as fast as a sewing machine’s needle. “I thought—and I want to make that clear—I thought that I might have overheard your mother’s voice in the background.”

  Leo and I both remained silent as we digested this bit of news, which had definitely altered today’s rhythm. I mean, we’d almost gotten into a nice groove where things had finally been going our way. Count Cuddles had been located, the whole Jack dilemma had been fixed, and for the icing on the cake…I didn’t have to use ancient magic in my promise to bring Justine to life when Mercury went into retrograde.

  All in all, we’d been checking things off our list in the most satisfying way.

  You forgot to add on that my BFF found me the most delicious and mentally healthy, blueberry premium organic catnip edibles. Then there is Aphrodite. Those kinds of singularities don’t just come along every day, Raven.

  “Are you absolutely sure that it was my mother’s voice that you heard?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to jump to conclusions too fast. If Mom brought in the coven to search for the vampire, then any hope of me offering him another choice went up in smoke. “Positively positive?”

  From the regretful expression on the cheater’s face, I’d say that there’s more than one thing about to catch fire here. Did it ever occur to you that your mother is like one of those proverbial monkey wrenches? They hit you from out of the blue—not in the good blueberry way, either—and leave you wondering if you have an appointment with our local grim reaper. Remind me not to play dodgeball with your mother.

  “I’m positive, Raven.” Rye then attempted to smooth things over, but there was nothing that he could say to make this situation any better. “The visit might not have had anything to do with the vampire. I have to believe that Rowena would have given me a heads up if she thought my life might be in danger.”

  We are talking about the Wicked Witch of Windsor, Leo pointed out speculatively. His whiskers were already twitching uncontrollably. My bet is that she’s popping some popcorn and frying up some frogs’ legs for the upcoming showdown. I’ve got to be truthful, Raven—I only ever want to see Ivan’s ugly mug from across the poker table. Sweet angel of mercy, we’re all going to die, aren’t we?

  Chapter Twelve

  “Why the emergency meeting?” Heidi asked breathlessly, having come straight from the diner. The flush of happiness on her cheeks told me that the spell to erase Jack’s memory of last night’s dinner had been a success. Trust me, I’d been a bit worried that the effects would have faded by dessert. “Did you figure out the vampire’s identity?”

  I’d closed up shop to come back to the house so that any remaining shop owners didn’t find it odd that I was having some type of meeting at the teashop. I wasn’t even close to being hungry, but I’d had time to force down some leftover chicken noodle soup that I’d made over the weekend. It had been the easiest thing out of the remnants in the refrigerator to heat up.

  All I want are more of those blueberry catnip edibles before we all meet a horrible death.

  “We’re not going to die, Leo,” I exclaimed in frustration for the tenth time since walking through the front door of the cottage. “I just need to figure out why Mom went to visit Aunt Rowena.”

  “You could always just ask her,” Liam suggested from his seat at the counter.

  He shrugged when his comment had garnered everyone’s attention.

  Ted and Justine stood near the fireplace, Rye was sitting on the couch, Leo was feigning death in his cat bed in the bay window, and I was pacing back and forth in the kitchen to try and alleviate some of my stress.

  “Raven, your mother could have simply visited her aunt because of the upcoming wedding,” Liam proposed. “After all, Beetle did say that she was buying something special for when she asked you to be her matron of honor.”

  Liam did have a point. Unfortunately, every time that I tried to convince myself that my mother might have had a valid reason to visit Aunt Rowena, the palm of my hand began to tingle. I rubbed it with my thumb in hopes of trying to convince myself that the suggestion might even be possible.

  If the Mistress of the Dark thinks that she’s going to tie a ribbon around my neck as some token ringbearer, she has another think coming. I’d rather have Ivan swoop in to escort me through the veil than die of embarrassment. I brought this up before, but do you think there is an unlimited supply of premium organic catnip in the afterlife? Maybe I’ve been looking at this all wrong, Raven. Ohhh, what a conundrum.

  “Have you had time to look back at some of the old photographs of the town?” Heidi asked, setting her purse on the
entryway table. She took time to pet Leo, who was on his back with all four munchkin paws up in the air as if he had no strength left to get through the day. I understood his sentiment, but for different reasons. “If the vampire visits town twice a century or so, then it stands to reason that he would be in some of the old photographs.”

  “A supernatural being of such wisdom would take additional care not to be caught in such circumstances, Ms. Heidi,” Ted advised from his post near the hearth.

  “There’s also a possibility that the vampire could be changing his appearance with every return,” Rye pointed out, taking the side of Ted. “Of course, I highly doubt in the early centuries that plastic surgery was much of a real alternative.”

  “Raven, where’s your laptop?” Heidi asked as she made her way into the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of wine and a couple of wineglasses. “Who wants some wine while we dive into the history of Paramour Bay?”

  Everyone declined.

  Besides, I wasn’t so sure that my stomach could handle any alcohol at the moment.

  Well, my brain got used to the mental antioxidants from those blueberry edibles. I’m not sure my body can handle the withdrawals, Raven. I need me some blueberry treats, stat!

  “My laptop is in my tote bag,” I muttered, rubbing my hands up and down my face in frustration. “Liam, I get that there is a slight chance that Mom went to visit Aunt Rowena about the wedding, but I’m leaning more toward the vampiric threat we face. The question is…why would my mother want to bring in the coven?”

  To destroy us all! Get with the program, Raven.

  “Rowena most likely wouldn’t bring in the coven,” Rye countered, trying to get me to look at the situation in a different light. “Maybe your mother found out something while in New York City, and it was information that she needed to run by Rowena. We won’t know until we ask.”