Batty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 13) Page 10

  I’m hungry.

  I’d been in the back room of the teashop for at least twenty minutes, but Heidi was keeping Beetle busy while Liam delayed Jack outside. I’d set aside all the items that I’d use in the locator spell. I didn’t want to put them away just in case we were able to cast one for the visiting vampire.

  “There’s a granola bar with blueberries right behind you,” I said softly, evening out my breathing as I finally began my mantra. “Memories come, memories go…”

  It took me less than forty seconds to gather the strength of the elemental forces around me that I needed in order to cast the spell. By the time that I’d finished the verbal portion of the incantation, the crushed components had ever so slowly lifted and began to circle each other gracefully in the air as the energy bonded with the various magical components and a seasonal tea blend.

  Those dark things don’t look like blueberries. They look like rabbit pellets, and not the ones they eat, if you know what I mean. Did you happen to look at the ingredients? Does it actually list blueberries, or does it say processed blueberries that look like poop? I’m thinking I need to convince my BFF to give me the rest of the stash that he has hidden in his shirt pocket. I know that he’s holding out on me. I can sense these things. I’m supernatural that way, you know.

  Leo was standing over the granola bar, staring down at the numerous crumbs that had been left over from Heidi eating half of it. The remaining half had been left out on a napkin.

  “Since when are you such a picky eater?” I asked wryly, taking the magical blend that I’d created and stuffing the tea infuser with the enchanted mixture. I was quite pleased with the spell that I’d just cast. It had taken me a fairly long time to learn the craft required to produce these results. Leo still reminded me of the time that his tail had gone numb for an hour or two. “Go meow at Beetle. You know he can’t resist your pleas of starvation.”

  My tail was numb for more like five hours, but I won’t hold it against you if you allow me to take that demon from Hades with me to the inn. I wasn’t spying long, but from I did see…well, let’s just say it looked as if my nemesis was hosting a major summer shindig involving multiple ears of corn. Now would be the perfect time to get the upper hand.

  “You’re not taking Count Cuddles anywhere,” I murmured, finally holding up the oval tea infuser in victory. “I did it, Leo.”

  You think you may have successfully completed the spell. That’s completely different from actually achieving success to eradicate his memories of the other night. If that oaf of a detective forgets his own name, that’s when I’ll consider it a success. We can call your new blend Frontal Lobotomy.

  “It wouldn’t be a success then, Leo,” I muttered in exasperation, leaving him in the back room to stare at the half-eaten granola bar. “Here goes nothing!”

  Heidi was still standing near the high-top table that contained the electric kettle and various tea samples that we usually had out for the customers. I could tell that her stress level was at an all-time high from the way she was biting her thumb nail…which wasn’t even really her own nail. She had Candy give her a manicure every two weeks at the local salon.

  “Stop that,” I muttered, setting the tea infuser into the teacup. Once it was steeping in the hot water from the electric kettle, I followed her line of vision out through the display window. Liam was still doing an excellent job of keeping Jack occupied until I had time to cast the spell and mix the blend in back. “Text Liam. Tell him that we’re ready.”

  “Ohhh, I don’t feel so good,” Heidi whispered with what basically amounted as a moan, pulling out her phone from her purse that she’d set on the high-top stool. She quickly shot the text off before staring down at the magical drink. “Are you sure this is going to work?”

  You should give my soulmate the chance to erase everything from that oaf of a detective’s brain. He’d make a great zombie. Ted and Justine could use a helper.

  “This better work,” I said quietly so that the customer who Beetle was checking out couldn’t overhear us. I had to do a double take, because the woman turned out to be Cora Barnes. “What is Cora doing here?”

  Can I bite her? I need to have an outlet for all of the frustration you’ve caused me today. Better yet, can I just open the demon’s enclosure? He needs the exercise.

  “Oh, something about Desmond wanting the rest of the Wild Sweet Orange tea leaves,” Heidi said distractedly and with a wave of her hand. The men were currently walking across the road, and her gaze was glued to Jack. I completely ignored Leo. “I hope this works.”

  You realize that we’re wasting time on this oaf of a detective while a vampire still roams our streets freely, right? Where have your priorities gone, Raven? Oh, that’s right…on a road trip with your wayward mother. It wouldn’t surprise me to find the visiting vampire riding shotgun with the Wicked Witch of the North.

  The bell above the glass door chimed.

  Both Heidi and I held our breaths as Liam walked in first, followed by Jack. He only had eyes for Heidi. It was clear that he wasn’t willing to let some itsy-bitsy garlic smell and some crazy talk deter him from making up with Heidi.

  Maybe this magical blend wouldn’t even be needed to mend the rift between them.

  I muttered as such to Heidi, who immediately picked up the teacup that was now completely ready for Jack to consume. It appeared that she wasn’t going to be taking any unnecessary chances when it came to her relationship with him.

  I hadn’t realized that Leo had hopped up on the stool next to her purse and had been about to knock over the contents of said teacup until I saw his paw swipe nothing but the air underneath it as she began to carry it over to her beau.

  What? Can’t blame a devoted heart for trying, can you?

  “Jack, before you say anything about last night, I want you to know that I think I’m falling in love with you,” Heidi declared, taking us all by surprise.

  Poor Leo almost fell off the table.

  The declaration had even caught Cora’s attention, and it was plain to see that she was taking her time stuffing the change that Beetle had given her into her purse.

  “Here,” Heidi exclaimed, holding up the teacup. “Have some tea. Raven made it especially for you.”

  Do you feel that, Raven? It’s my heartbeat slowing down. I’m slowly dying of a torturous death by unrequited love. Cupid has failed me once again. You might as well shove me into the enclosure with that little fanged demon and let him suck every drop of bitter blood out of my rogue feline body. It’s of no use to me now.

  It was hard for Jack to say no to the so-called holistic refreshment when Heidi had all but shoved the cup of tea into his hands. How any of the hot beverage didn’t spill over the rim was beyond me.

  By this point, Leo was practically laying in a heap across my forearms with his tongue hanging out as he feigned death.

  “Heidi, I think that maybe we should talk privately about—”

  “Drink!” Heidi ordered, cutting Jack off from saying another word.

  Apparently, I hadn’t given Jack enough credit.

  He was a very smart man.

  I even think I heard him mutter yes, dear before taking a long draw of the tea. He didn’t resist when she rested her fingers on the bottom of the cup and forced it up to his lips. I winced when I realized that the hot beverage probably scalded the roof of his mouth, but he did as she’d requested and drank a pretty healthy amount.

  Beetle and Cora both looked on with puzzled expressions on their faces, while Liam and I waited with bated breaths to see the effects of the tea. Heidi had taken a cautious step back. As for Leo, he’d lifted his head just enough so that he wouldn’t miss out if Jack mysteriously croaked from a spell gone wrong.

  One can only hope. Why is it that you’re constantly trying to erase all my happiest dreams, Raven?

  I released Leo, letting his body topple onto the high-top table.

  “Jack, how do you like the tea?” I asked ten
tatively, grateful when Liam took a step closer to his friend. Jack was no longer looking at Heidi, but instead staring into the depths of the cup as if something inside had him mesmerized. “Jack?”

  We could all literally hear the second hand on the old black and white clock slowly tick away time on the wall behind and above Beetle’s head. It was clear that Beetle and Cora had no idea what we were all waiting on, but they were awaiting the state detective to respond, as well.

  “Raven, I must say that this is the best tea that I’ve ever had in my entire life,” Jack declared in astonishment, looking up at me with amazement. “I don’t even like most teas. I’m more of a coffee guy. What did you put into this blend? What is it called? I want to buy some. Teabags, though. I need to be able to just plop a bag into hot water when I’m constantly on the go.”

  We all heard Cora mutter under her breath to Beetle that she also wanted whatever it was that Jack had just consumed, never one to miss out on a new trend. I was glad that I’d used one of the new flavors that I’d gotten for the fall season. Pumpkin Nutmeg was what I’d chosen to use with the spell, but it had more to do with the nutmeg rather than the pumpkin disguising the taste of the spell components.

  I’d thought we’d decided to call it Frontal Lobotomy. What I’d really like to do is take a pumpkin and hit that oaf of a detective over his—

  “Beetle, would you please wrap up a box of teabags of the Pumpkin Nutmeg for Jack, and however many ounces of tea leaves that Cora would like today.”

  I noticed that Janice was at the door and about to enter the shop. She probably wanted to check on Count Cuddles, who was still sleeping the afternoon away, but I was hoping to have some answers before being distracted from the situation in front of me.

  “I heard that you and Heidi had to cancel last night’s dinner plans,” I said to Jack, hoping that he would give insight on if he remembered anything about the garlic incident. “Have you come to whisk her away?”

  Jack opened his mouth to respond, but then frowned when it was clear that he was trying to remember last night’s events. It was a good thing that Beetle and Cora were busy over by the check-out counter. Liam, Heidi, and I all leaned forward and waited anxiously to hear Jack’s reply.

  Oddly enough, Leo was suspiciously quiet.

  “We…huh,” Jack said perplexedly, his brow still furrowed in thought. “We didn’t have dinner last, did we?”

  “Nooo,” Heidi said, drawing out her answer a little longer than I would have liked in this situation. “We did not. No. Did you come here to take me out to dinner? That’s so sweet of you.”

  Jack clearly didn’t have an answer.

  The fact that my hand remained quite cool should have been a relief, but I wouldn’t relax until he had confirmed that he had no memory of last night’s dinner. The spell that I’d cast had to be very specific, along with well-chosen words to contain the incantation to a very specific time period.

  “I guess we didn’t have dinner last night,” Jack said with a frown, though he took the time to take another drink of the tea. “I came by to talk about…”

  Jack couldn’t seem to remember, but the fact that Heidi had given him a valid reason was something that he’d grabbed onto.

  “I did come by to take you to an early dinner,” Jack stated over the bell chiming above the entrance, either having convinced himself that had to be the case or the tea had given him an extra boost to believe the first thing offered to him by Heidi. “Would you like to head over to the diner now?”

  “I would love to,” Heidi said with relief, glancing over her shoulder and flashing me a smile.

  That same grin began to fade as my best friend set eyes on Leo. I was afraid to look at him for fear that he was still feigning being dead. To my surprise, he was grooming himself. I’m not talking in his usual haphazard way, either. He was licking his paw and smoothing what fur he could over the bald spot on his head with exact precision.

  How do I look? GQ cover material, right?

  “I was just checking on Count Cuddles,” Janice exclaimed, pulling everyone’s attention her way.

  I quickly realized why Leo had been grooming himself, though I was still having trouble wrapping my head around it. You see, Janice held a beautiful Maine Coon cat in her arms as if she didn’t weigh as much as Leo. She probably didn’t, but her fur alone had to weigh ten pounds.

  “This is Aphrodite,” Janice introduced, hoisting the Main Coon to get a better hold on her. “I was just taking her over to her new owner, but I thought I’d stop in to make sure that you haven’t had any trouble with Count Cuddles.”

  Aphrodite. So apropos, Raven. The goddess of love. She certainly is…

  Leo’s words trailed off in wonder as I realized he’d just experienced love at first sight. It certainly hadn’t taken him long to mend the broken heart that he’d mentioned a few minutes ago.

  What can I say? Out with the old, in with the new. My former soulmate wasn’t meant to be, and the supernatural forces brought me the perfect mate. Look at that sleek black fur, Raven. Do you notice the burnt ginger tufts here and there? I mean, how perfect could she be?

  “Did Janice just say that there’s a bat in here somewhere?” Cora asked Beetle, her gaze sweeping the teashop. It didn’t take her long to locate the enclosure that I’d tucked in the display window next to Leo’s cat bed. “Oh, dear. Beetle, I think we’re done here. I’ll take my package now.”

  Meeeooowwww.

  Leo’s greeting was unlike anything I’d ever heard, and I had to cover my smile so as not to let on that I was this-close to bursting with laughter. Leo would take it the wrong way. Truthfully, I was just grateful that I didn’t have to hand feed him catnip for the next few days over a broken heart tonight.

  Aphrodite seemed to consider Leo’s greeting.

  “Give me that,” Cora snapped, snatching the bag that Beetle had taken in order to include her new purchase of the Pumpkin Nutmeg tea leaves. She made a beeline for the door, never once taking her gaze off the enclosure in the display window. “Who in the world keeps a bat in their…”

  Meeeooowwww.

  It appeared that Aphrodite returned Leo’s admiration.

  Be still my beating heart.

  Cora muttered over Aphrodite’s return greeting, going on and on about who was insane enough to own a bat as she quickly left the teashop to make her way to the malt shop, which she owned with her husband.

  At least we’d averted any type of gossip being spread about town.

  Forget that woman, Raven. Find out who Aphrodite’s new owner is, if we can undermine the exchange, and gain a list of this beauty’s references. It would help to know that she’s a believer in the squirrelpocalypse.

  “Did I just get left in the dust?” Heidi murmured as she walked back my way to collect her purse. When I nodded in dismay, already sensing that Leo’s new infatuation with Aphrodite was going to cause me a major headache, Heidi leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on top of Leo’s head. “She has no idea how lucky she is, my handsome tomcat.”

  This could turn out to be the best day ever, Raven!

  Chapter Eleven

  This is absolutely the worst day ever.

  Leo had all but crawled to his cat bed in the display window when he discovered that Aphrodite’s new home was with none other than the one and only—Mr. Jenkins.

  My beautiful, perfect mate now lives with a filthy hoarder. There are limits, Raven. Limits. I wonder if Seal Team Six is available to do a raid on his compound.

  “Leo, you need to look on the bright side,” I instructed as I began to collect the sale items that had been left over from the day’s event.

  There weren’t many packages of teas left, and I would just box them up and donate them to the food pantry here in town. Gertie, the owner of the inn, had started the charity operation years ago. She even contributed canned vegetables from her garden on a monthly basis, depending on the season.

  “Aphrodite is going to be living in t
own,” I reminded Leo. “It’s not like she belongs to someone who lives halfway across the country. You can see her anytime you like, and you can get to know her at your leisure. Just because Mr. Jenkins is a hoarder doesn’t mean that Aphrodite is of the same ilk.”

  The bell above the door chimed, and I had high hopes that it was finally my mother showing up to help with the vampiric threat.

  Unfortunately, it was just Janice.

  She must have forgotten to give me something for Count Cuddles. Whatever it was, I’d have to drop it off at Beetle’s house later. I’d ask him to take care of the injured little fellow until later this evening when I had a chance to give the vampire bat my full attention.

  Right now, we still had a vampire to find.

  Don’t remind me. I just want to wallow in my self-pity.

  “Hi, Janice,” I greeted, putting the last of the tea flavors in a shopping bag to take to Gertie later in the week. I was quite pleased with today’s sale. “I just had Beetle take Count Cuddles home with him for a few hours while I run some last-minute errands. By the way, I told Beetle to cut up some fruit for the little guy. I’m not sure how often you feed him, but—”

  “Oh, dear,” Janice replied with such dismay that she garnered my full attention. “Count Cuddles doesn’t eat fruit. That’s why I stopped by, so that he could have some dinner.”

  Ohhhhh, I think I’m going to be sick.

  I could only stare in horror at the small bird cage that Janice held up with her right hand.

  Please tell me that she doesn’t have Satan’s mini-feathered dragon in that chamber of death. He might be one my nemesis, but not even he deserves to have his blood sucked from his odd-misshaped body. Raven, do something!

  “You see, hairy-legged vampire bats survive on birds,” Janice said without a hint of remorse. “This here is a…”

  I tuned Janice out as I wracked my brain for a way around our current predicament. There was no way that I was feeding a live bird to a hairy-legged vampire bat, only to watch it die a slow and painful death. If the vampire could survive on bags of blood from the hospitals in the surrounding areas, I’m sure that I could come up with a humane way to feed our new fanged friend.